


better in bed

by freloux



Category: New Girl
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 09:38:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4782614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freloux/pseuds/freloux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My secret (and now not-so-secret) crack pairing. Whoops. Anyways, this little fic was inspired by the scene "Bad in Bed" where Jess asks the guys for sex advice. Wildly AU of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	better in bed

"What about cunnilingus?"

Jess blushes. "Spencer never - "

Schmidt lifts an eyebrow. "He never ate you out? Surely that must be at the top of every man's fantasy list."

"He always said it was weird or whatever." Jess makes a vague hand motion.

"I assure you, Jess, there's nothing weird about pleasuring a woman with your tongue," Schmidt says with an air of medical precision. Then he leans closer, leers. "Especially if you're another woman."

"Ew, gross!" Jess reals backwards and almost falls off the couch. She wonders briefly why she's doing this anyway - Schmidt is officially the last person she thought she would ever ask for sex advice. "Jar!" she says, gesturing wildly as she attempts to regain her composure.

Schmidt puts a few bills into the Douchebag Jar and returns to his spot next to Jess on the couch.

"How do I - I just don't know how to ask for it," Jess says quietly.

"Sure you do," Schmidt replies.

Jess clears her throat. The loft suddenly feels very, very empty. Her skin prickles. "Schmidt, I'm not asking you - "

"Why not? What's wrong with a little sex education between friends?"

She stares at him. "Fine."

"So?" He looks at her like it's a dare. There's a tiny smirk flickering around his mouth.

"Schmidt, would you please - " She stops. "I want you to - " Her voice gets softer. "Please."

His smile gets fuller then. "It would be my pleasure, Jess." There's something low and predatory in his voice that makes her shiver. Schmidt takes off his suit jacket and tie, folding them both neatly on the couch next to them. Then he leans in and kisses her softly. "I want to make sure you're comfortable."

He kisses her again and she returns it. Schmidt is a good kisser; he's much less aggressive than she thought he would be. He slides his tongue into her mouth gently and presses it against hers. She startles herself with a moan. Schmidt smiles against her mouth, then pulls away.

"Enjoying yourself, Jess?" he asks.

Jess looks away, eyes downcast. "Just - kiss me again."

As he kisses her, he cups her waist with one hand. The other sneaks under her skirt and starts stroking her. Her legs fall open and she bucks against his hand. A low, swooping feeling builds in her stomach and her entire body is buzzing. Just when she's getting used to this feeling, could have it forever, he pulls his hand away and starts unzipping her skirt.

Oh. Right. That.

"You know, you can back out at any time," he says as he pulls down her skirt. "I'm open to you learning about the joys of cunnilingus in other ways. I have an extensive, well-hidden folder on my laptop."

She's about to say "Jar" when he pulls down her underwear and lets it drop to the floor next to her skirt.

"Schmidt, I -"

And that's when he starts licking her. He gently spreads her lips with his fingers and traces a careful path up her slit with his tongue. He finally reaches her clit and takes it into his mouth, sucking gently. Her hands settle into his hair and she lifts her legs, hooking them over his shoulders. When he slides two fingers inside her, she whimpers. He fucks her hard, twisting his fingers as he licks his way around her clit. She can feel herself starting to orgasm, letting each contraction build until she's coming around his fingers, clenching tight as he slowly pulls out.

Schmidt licks his fingers as he watches her put her clothes back on. "So?" he asks.

"Thanks," she says quietly.

She would do one of her old-timey radio newscaster impressions, but somehow that doesn't seem appropriate.


End file.
